my daughters father is refusing to pay me maintenance for our 3 year old daughter unless its into a bank account she cant get until shes older, as he claims i'll spend it on myself.(which is ridiulous as i have fed n clothed his child with no support for 3 years).i dont really think this is fair as im struggling NOW with money so isnt it better she is well provided for now? i could contact the csa and then hel have no choice but to pay me direct but thats a last resort for me.|||Hi - no you most certainly should not.
He's trying to manipulate you from a distance, and he has no right to ask this.
He clearly doesn't understand how child maintenance works; it is money for the here and now, money that you as the Primary Caregiver can spend on your daughter as you see fit - spending it wisely would also include being able to pay house bills, food, items for the house that enhance your life with your child - anything that you choose - it's none of his business.
Be firm with this controlling man, and explain that that is NOT how things are done, and that failure to pay voluntarily will force you to contact the CSA and begin claim proceedings.
Be aware that any money you receive from your ex-partner must be declared to the Department of Work and Pensions if you are claiming any benefits.
Good luck.|||Everyone is quite right, another thing to consider is that if he's paying money into an account you can't access, how do you know he's even paying it?
Suggest to him he can pay the money into such an account, as long as he's prepared to explain to his daughter why she can't eat, get new clothes, go on school trips, have toys, have visits from Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, until she is 18 and gets this money!|||Why don't you take the decision to pay support or not pay support out of his hands. File a Petition for Support and let the court require him to pay. This way the money will be required to go directly to the Family Court and then the court will send you the check. Ask that his wages be attached so that his employer will send in the money. Then his "whim" to send or not to send will have consequences if the money stops. You may be required to advise the court as to what the money is spent on, but since we both know what it takes to raise a child financially, that should not be an issue at all.|||Maybe agree to send him copies of receipts that the money is being used on the child. I can understand where he is coming from. He wants all of the money to be used on the child and not just freely hand it over to you to spend however you wish. He thinks its his responsibility to provide for his daughter, but not you. You should work out a system that will prove his money is being used for his daughter.|||Hi Nadia,
Based on your posting I feel he is proposing to set up a trust for her. Laws around trusts can be complicated I do not believe it is a good idea for this type of situation. Ideally you should go through Child Support Agency (CSA) in order to guarantee that you receive some payments from him. If you do not use CSA then there is no way to ensure that he pays.|||Child support is to help with the material things the child needs, it is not up to one parent to clothe, feed and keep a roof over their heads, it is the responsibility of both parents. So he is just being a jerk, you need the help and he is to give it to you. I would make him pay through the csa.|||well why does he not work out what he thinks is right to pay every month then pay bills off for that amount.
you need the money now not later
sounds to me like this is just his way of paying nothing
but the truth is you want him to pay you direct so you get the money off him and the money off me the tax payer so your no better|||This is a common lament. The guy does not want to SUPPORT his ex but still desires to support the child. He'll pay but you can't get it. Very common.
Then you have to get csa involved. This is the way he wants it.|||did you go thru the courts to determine the amount to pay?
if so contact the courts.
support is to be paid to the custodial parent,to spend how they see fit.
putting it into an account for when the child is of age is not paying for child support.|||He is wrong.
Contact the CSA and have him pay through the court.
He is still trying to control you and you can't let him.|||He's out of order. Maintenance is as the name suggests to maintain your child not to give them a windfall when they grow up. Contact the CSA if he won't see reason.|||No! Like you said, you need the money now. Men make me sick thinking kids don't cost money everyday. They use electricity, water, gas, etc.|||You already know exactly what you have to do even though you may call it the last reasort.|||Q: What is the greatest addiction for the human mind? A:TRUTH!
I suggest you try to reconcile with your husband. As a childhood victim of divorce I am now an adult victim and I helplessly watch my children fall victim to this LIFE SENTANCE OF PAIN. Don't listen to negative thinkers. People can learn relationship skills. People must learn relationship skills or we face the fate of teaching our future generations that all is hopeless.
I suggest you also read the Bible twice a day. There is new teaching today showing how The Bible declares the end of the world begins on 5/11/2011. May God bring his plagues upon me if I am not declaring his truth faithfully
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